Are you Karachiite?
Do you travel in bus????????
Which bus you mostly travel in???????
W21, G3, G17, G7, W11,D1, Y, D, U8, Starline, Marwat, Muslim, S2, Dost Coach, G25, W18, Mehraan, 11C, 52A, 52B, Green Bus, P1, Sheraz, M1, 11K, D3, F5, 15no., W30, Mukkaram, and there are plenty of others.
If you have been already moving in these buses, then it means that you know the “hidden art of journeys” by travelling in them. It also reveals that you are habitual of these artistic antiques, to roam around city. But if you are novice in the field, and you do not know the hidden secrets of it, then it can be very dangerous for you to travel, in these space machines. Therefore, in order to eradicate that dangers and make you comfortable with bus environment, once again I endeavored to give you few tips from my own precious experiences.
These tips are very effective in their nature and if you use them cautiously and secretly, I guarantee you successful results in few days only. So, let’s take a look at those problems in detail and I’ll keep guiding you in between.
Sometimes, it can happen that the bus’s driver, in which you are travelling, have very great aesthetic sense. He would not only entertain you, with 1990s Indian songs shoot on our beloved (parosi mulk k) Shahrukh Khan, Madhuri, and Salman Khan blah blah blah. . . but also entertain you with dialogues preceding the songs.
The issue is not about songs and dialogues at all; rather our concern is about the dance steps which bus driver tries to teach you. These lessons must be inferred from his artistic driving and he won’t be there to give you any demonstrations. These lessons are usually originates from his bus’s racing and chasing with other neighboring buses, in which you feel that bus driver is going to get some marathon cup out of it, but his real intention is only to teach you something, and that is a DANCE.
In this dance, you have to remain continuously aware and cautious. Because you won’t have any idea that which step you are going to follow. It would be the game of instincts. Whenever bus driver pressed accelerator, in the sudden, you would go right step forward, then you follow left step back. On u-turns and round-about, you are supposed to perform exact to-and-fro steps of Michael Jackson.
If you do not keep your balance accurately, by holding hangers, then driver would not be responsible, if you fell down. But, if bus is so full that you can’t grip anything nearer to you, then the best solution is to hold someone closest to you. In that case, if that person falls, you would knock down on him/her but your chances of any injury would reduce.
Grab the Seat
It is most difficult and most beautiful phenomenon in journeys of buses. If you know this art, I guarantee you; no one can beat you in life. As soon as, you get on the bus, try to sit on most nearer seat. In this case, if pushing is required, do not hesitate to do it with most nearer person.
Sometimes, it happens that you destiny is quite away and you need seat but none is giving you any chance to have it. Then, in my opinion, you are free to pretend like sick person. Just act like as you are going to vomit in bus, and within few seconds plenty of seats would be emptied for you.
Deal the Conductor
Conductor is the hero of bus; you are not supposed to get in mess with him. Because, it is possible that after taking your money he would be vanished at backside of bus and you keep waiting for change and your destiny arrived. The best way to deal with them is that never, never; give them huge amount for tickets. Always, deal in the form of coins, if he tries to cheat you for 1 or 2 rupees, fight back. It is your right to get back your “Haq-e-Halal ki Kamai” from his dirty palm or ear (later on clean that by rubbing with your jeans or dupatta).
If he does anything bad with you and try to harass you, then get down from the bus without giving any “karaya” it would be like death penalty for him. In return, he would give you lot’s of bad names, but in long term you would be making your home at heaven by his poetic statements.
If you are girl, then you must have had more problems than guys. I know it, because I am girl by myself, and suffer these problems daily.
In case, if you get those seats which are contiguous with men seats, then sit on your own risk. Because, most of the times, there is some moron would be waiting for you to pinch you around. In that situation, you have so many options to do. Either leave your seat and get up like innocent kids or turn around and give couple of most beautiful abusive words to that monster. In second option, it is possibility that the terror of that person removed and he suddenly tuned into wet cat (if you have seen the wet cat you must know how they looks, I know it because I had plenty at home).
For guys, there is always possibility of mobile snatching, and stealing of wallets. So, please! Do not pompous to show your cell phones in bus or to pretend to be in conversation with your girl-friend, because it could be very expensive for you.
Back to my gender again, I think girls face more problems than guys, they not only have to confront with dancing class, conductor’s show off, threat of back-seat morons but also the gang of fatty women, who get on the bus to steal things. So, girls, now am directly talking to you that kindly avoid listening radio on bus (on which I feel quite strange because let’s assume if bus got accident you would be die by listening songs, rather than reciting 1st Kalma or Durud sharif), which you mostly listen on cell-phones. If wearing any valuable jewelry, then specially remain alert and aware of those fat foot balls.
The fatty-gang women might be keeping their eyes on you. It is possible that they would try to attack on your purse or mobile or they try to talk to you in sweet manner, when you are about to get down from the bus. But, do not come in their scam, if you feel, anything strange or sensing some unfamiliar hustle around, don’t afraid to shout on them. In the maximum, they would shout on you back, but in long run you would be able to save your stuff.
Though, there are plenty of other suggestions but I have to go to work in morning in the BUS, and I hope I done my job very well again and once again played effective role in your life. If you have any tips and tricks you may share them with me without any hesitation. Because, all above methods have already practiced by me, and believe me, I EXCEL IN THE ART OF TRAVELLING IN KARACHI’S BUSES.
P.S. follow these suggestions on your own risk, if you have followed by some moron, I won’t be responsible at all.
® Mindmasked 2016 © Sajal Khan